Your Training Checked a Box. It Didn’t Build a Culture.   A rainbow sticker on a door is not a safe space. Neither is a single 90-minute workshop, a slide deck full of definitions, or a well-meaning email announcing your organization is “committed to inclusion.” Real safety, the kind that actually changes how people move […]

The Real LGBTQIA+ Obsession: Why Some People Can’t Stop Policing Gender Before anyone tells me how trans and nonbinary people express themselves, I want to point out the actual encounters. This isn’t about how we behave. It’s about how many everyday, ordinary behaviors get called out as “LGBTQIA+ behavior” simply because of who’s doing them. […]

“Ignore the Haters” Isn’t Advice, It’s Avoidance: How to Actually Step in as an Ally “Ignore the haters” is the go-to response to LGBTQIA+ hate, but it is avoidance dressed up as comfort. Here’s what real allyship and bystander intervention look like. There is a script that well-intentioned people reach for when someone tells them […]

Bisexual Erasure: What It Is, Why It Happens, and Why It Matters “Are You 30% Gay, 30% Straight?” No! I’m 100% Bisexual.   I’ve spent enough time in this field to lose count of how many times I’ve watched this happen: a bisexual person mentions who they’re dating, and the room quietly decides who they […]

How Do I Know For Sure If I’m Gay, Bi, Ace, or Trans?   (Spoiler: There’s No Pee-on-a-Stick Test For This)   Let’s get one thing out of the way immediately: there is no clipboard. There is no lab. Nobody is going to hand you a Scantron sheet, tell you to fill in the bubbles […]

I spend much of my professional life helping organizations think critically about inclusion. Whether I’m working with healthcare systems, schools, nonprofits, or workplaces, the questions are often different, but the underlying challenges are remarkably consistent. Over time, one truth has become increasingly clear. We often mistake visibility for inclusion and representation for equity.   The […]

Psychological Safety Without Accountability Isn’t Safety; It’s Avoidance Over the last few years, I have seen a significant increase in conversations around psychological safety. Organizations, schools, nonprofits, and community groups are all trying to understand how to create environments where people feel welcomed, heard, and valued.While I am encouraged by the growing interest, I have […]

When it comes to appearance and expression, we all have a moment in our lives where we decide between what others think we should be and how we actually want to show up. This can happen at a formal event, a themed party, a night out with friends, or even just a random Saturday when […]

If you’re part of the LGBTQIA+ community, you already know the weight this word carries. Faggot has long been used as a slur meant to distill hatred into a single syllable, most often aimed at gay men and those perceived as queer. Nearly everyone I know in this community has been called it and carries […]

The Toilet Seat Didn’t Give You Chlamydia How many times have you heard someone say they got a sexually transmitted infection (STI) from a toilet seat? This belief portrays the toilet seat as a source of infection, which is misleading. This is one of the most common excuses I hear, usually from someone who doesn’t […]