2021 was the year I challenged myself to be confident in everything I do; my walk, talk, work, ability, and myself. Having confidence was needed to manifest the idea of self-love, self-acceptance, and self-worth. Part of the actions to be more confident was speaking up and taking on challenges I never thought I could do. It also involved making the hard decision to cut out negative, harmful, and unhealthy relationships from friends, family, work, and environments. However, in this instance, I want to talk about one experience of confidence as taking on opportunities. I saw an opportunity that I usually would talk myself out of because of being doubtful, but I did the opposite this time and just said, “let’s do it.” I saw a poetry contest by a local LGBTQA+ organization, the Rainbow Alliance in Northeastern Pennsylvania (NEPA). I thought this was a chance to go back to my roots of writing poetry from when I was in high school and speak on my passion and experience of being a nonbinary queer young professional.

The contest’s purpose was to express and explain my understanding of what it means to “Live Out Proud.” I thought long and hard about what this meant to live out proud in NEPA. Thinking of my queerness in rural areas, I had thought of moments like the battles we face that are unspoken, suffocating, and destructive and still happen for LGBTQA+ individuals. These moments to “Live Out Proud” were real moments that took energy, safety, and concerns into the mental and physical preparation because anything could happen. As a young nonbinary queer person, I was taught to be silent about my difference and values. This created a need for me to push back through the years. I learned that being loud with confidence was precisely how I disrupted the waters of the small-town mentality of their peace from the norms.

In writing this, I did not feel I was trying to win a contest but to believe that my words and story have worth. I challenged my thoughts and chose words to be solid and organic within their nature. People within sexual and gender diverse communities genuinely are warriors to their authenticity. A battle not only to fight social norms, but family tradition, relationship expectations, and internal boundaries to grow. My confidence became a force of motivation in taking action to know, prove and see we can progress.

At the end of writing this poem, I conquered something extraordinary, a masterpiece within my mind, and won third place. I was shocked to know I made the top three, but more so in knowing that if I did not believe in myself, I would never know; I could write something so great to be proud of filling that motivation that words have power. Others said it was beautiful, raw, emotional, and poignant to describe the poem at hand. I learned that this form of confidence came from accepting my vulnerability. I could be critiqued, laughed at, or even doubted, but I could be seen, heard, and awaken truths that are mine. I let anyone reading this know fear is not what stops us from our worth; it is doubt. Question and challenge your doubt, and believe that you will find motivation in confidence. Tell your story, be heard for others and yourself.

The poem was featured across social media platforms Rainbow Alliance, NEPA Pride Project, and NEPA Creative and posted on DiscoverNEPA. 

My poem expresses what it means to Live Out Proud in NEAP as a nonbinary queer young professional.